IndieGoGo pages, 10-23-2014

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IndieGoGo pages, 10-23-2014

Postby Kris@WLP » Wed Oct 22, 2014 11:21 pm

Two pages proposed by our own Ganthan! (A third will be along by and by.)

Also, as promised the recent filler is now on the Gallery page, complete with a link to the word-free art for the horror host meme.
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Re: IndieGoGo pages, 10-23-2014

Postby Blackjoker » Thu Oct 23, 2014 2:52 am

Is it weird that I find the wererat and werefox (I can't remember their names for the life of me) discussion cute?
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Re: IndieGoGo pages, 10-23-2014

Postby Ganthan » Thu Oct 23, 2014 6:47 am

I like the flow and layout of the Carla page and I really like the art quality of both of them. However, I do have some criticisms on the Ashley page, but like Fluttershy I'm afraid to say them and look like an ungrateful prick. I've got to start working right now anyway so I'll first wait and see what everyone else thinks of it.
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Re: IndieGoGo pages, 10-23-2014

Postby Kaeto » Thu Oct 23, 2014 7:32 am

Hopefully we can get a nice full body pic of Carla at a bit closer range but I do like the page. As far as Ashley and Danny go I would think even if it's just a college fling for them that they would have more to talk about than just sex.
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Re: IndieGoGo pages, 10-23-2014

Postby Kris@WLP » Thu Oct 23, 2014 7:57 am

Kaeto wrote:Hopefully we can get a nice full body pic of Carla at a bit closer range but I do like the page. As far as Ashley and Danny go I would think even if it's just a college fling for them that they would have more to talk about than just sex.


Sex was what was requested.
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Re: IndieGoGo pages, 10-23-2014

Postby Kaeto » Thu Oct 23, 2014 10:15 am

Ah I see.
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Re: IndieGoGo pages, 10-23-2014

Postby matteso585 » Thu Oct 23, 2014 12:31 pm

I don't know who these characters are.
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Re: IndieGoGo pages, 10-23-2014

Postby bar1scorpio » Thu Oct 23, 2014 2:00 pm

Carla Goodwin (Jean's mom) chasing that rabbit after her last appearance -

Danny (the wererat) and Ashley (the werefox)
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Re: IndieGoGo pages, 10-23-2014

Postby Ganthan » Thu Oct 23, 2014 6:24 pm

Kaeto wrote:Hopefully we can get a nice full body pic of Carla at a bit closer range but I do like the page.


Oh we will. Just wait. I've got one more page coming. ;)

Kaeto wrote:As far as Ashley and Danny go I would think even if it's just a college fling for them that they would have more to talk about than just sex.


That's one of the jokes. Look at the last line Danny's thinking about. I can't really take credit for the dialog though because Kris wrote it all. Besides, I'm not gonna pay a hundred dollars to watch Ashley and Danny argue about calculus homework or some shit.

Here's the scripts for the pages, written by Kris:

Dinner Time wrote:A continuation of Page 302 where Carla has driven out to the
wilderness, stripped off her clothes while keeping things PG 13, and
just tears off into the woods all fuzzy and feral to hunt down a
rabbit. For some reason this just sounds like something I'd like to
watch.

Panel One (P1-P3 all in one row top of page)

(Rabbit looking over its shoulder.)

Panel Two

(Rabbit bolting away from whatever it was looking at.)

Panel Three

(What it was looking at: Carla Goodwin, in the fur and not much else,
running on all fours.)

Panel Four

(Page-wide panel of Carla chasing the rabbit, who is running towards
some bushes. Carla’s hair is trailing out behind her from the speed of
the pursuit.)

CARLA: COME BACK HERE AND DIE ALREADY!

CARLA: I’ve got an appetite and a bunch of issues to take out on you!

Panel Five

(On the other side of the bushes is a mud-filled ravine. The rabbit
knew about it and has leaped to vault the span; Carla did NOT know
about it, and is about to take a header into the wet and messy.)

CARLA: !!!

Panel Six

(Carla, a total mess, rising up from the muck, just high enough for
the rabbit sitting on the high bank to look at her.)

CARLA: … what are YOU looking at, lunchmeat?

Panel Seven

(Bunny bopping field wolf on the head.)

S F/X BOP!

CARLA: Cut it out!


This page was the third one I bought and I originally wasn't even going to buy it. It's just that we had such a good fantasy three way with Peter, Sarah and Jean that I felt like given them some more money. I basically just told Kris to continue Carla's final thought on Page 302 and this is what he came up with.

Paizuri Pillow Talk wrote:Panel One

(Ashley in human form, sitting in an easy chair somewhere. Where
doesn’t matter.)

DANNY (off-panel): All I’m saying is, you rely too much on those giant
funbags of yours.

ASHLEY: You sure’s fuck weren’t complainin’ last night.

ASHLEY: Couldn’t keep yer hands off ‘em.

Panel Two

(Danny, facing Ashley’s panel, also in an easy chair.)

DANNY: I’m a teenager and I had my dick in your pussy.

DANNY: Of COURSE I came!

DANNY: But your tits had NOTHING to do with that!

Panel Three

(Page-wide panel if possible. Ashley shifts to werefox form, ripping
her shirt open both from internal pressure and by hand to free her
huge fuzzy melons.)

ASHLEY: NOTHING?

ASHLEY: Wanna BET, pencil-stub?

Panel Four

(This panel takes up entire bottom half of page. From more or less
Danny’s point of view, we see Ashley giving him lap-paizuri,
determined to show the power of her pulchritude over his protrusion.
Of course she’s enjoying this a bit.)

ASHLEY: You’ll show what you REALLY feel about big boobs when you
spray yer load all over my tits!

ASHLEY: Not so big a talker are ya now, alligator mouth?

ASHLEY: You’re gonna blow any fuckin’ second now, and you don’t wanna
admit it!

DANNY (thinking): Actually I was wishing we had some other form of
pillow talk than this…


This was the first page I bought because I felt like we just didn't have enough Ashley fanservice. I came up with the action and structure but Kris wrote the dialog because my own dialog ideas were uncreative suck.

Now I'm not crazy about her outfit first and foremost. I'm all for showing copious amounts of stereotypes but a Southern Belle plaid shirt and overalls seems a bit much. I was rather hoping for a button up blouse she could have pulled open.

My biggest problem though was having her braid getting in on the action in the last panel. Now I'm all for long hair. Long silky strands are one of the things that turns my head and one of the reasons I like this comic so much is how well Ben draws it and how much of it there is on display. However, it's really only a personal preference of beauty, not a fetish. I have no desire to rub my dick on a girl's hair or blow a load on top of her head. I can't imagine that getting your dick smashed and rubbed against a tightly wound rope of hair would even be comfortable let alone pleasurable. We already had braid visibility in the other two panels she's in, so why did it have to be there between her tits along with his dick in that last panel? It makes it look like she doesn't know what she's doing. If she's trying to prove a point to him then she should have knocked that shit out of the way immediately. Sorry, but I just didn't like this.

Overall it's still fine, I guess. Like I said I like the art quality and the dialog is pretty good. I really like Ashley's pose in the first panel, but her outfit was meh and the braid getting in the way in the last panel bugged me.
Last edited by Ganthan on Fri Oct 24, 2014 4:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: IndieGoGo pages, 10-23-2014

Postby bar1scorpio » Fri Oct 24, 2014 12:13 am

I initially thought there would be more page to play with.
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Re: IndieGoGo pages, 10-23-2014

Postby Happygun » Fri Oct 24, 2014 1:50 pm

Well, I think the new pages are great! Thanks guys.
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Re: IndieGoGo pages, 10-23-2014

Postby matteso585 » Fri Oct 24, 2014 2:16 pm

Ashley looks like an interesting character. In fact, I don't remember if this is her debut page, or if we've seen her before.
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Re: IndieGoGo pages, 10-23-2014

Postby Kris@WLP » Fri Oct 24, 2014 2:27 pm

matteso585 wrote:Ashley looks like an interesting character. In fact, I don't remember if this is her debut page, or if we've seen her before.


We've seen her several times. She's the werefox in Peter's parapsychology lab session, the one from Texas.
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Re: IndieGoGo pages, 10-23-2014

Postby Ganthan » Fri Oct 24, 2014 2:41 pm

bar1scorpio wrote:I initially thought there would be more page to play with.

If you had known that there was only one page dedicated to this scene how would it have been different?
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Re: IndieGoGo pages, 10-23-2014

Postby ThomasNewton12 » Sat Oct 25, 2014 6:36 pm

Ganthan wrote:
Kaeto wrote:Hopefully we can get a nice full body pic of Carla at a bit closer range but I do like the page.


Oh we will. Just wait. I've got one more page coming. ;)


Ahah! I got a good laugh out of this Carla page, but I was surprised because it wasn't what I was expecting. Looking forward to seeing another page of her! Actually, I hope we get to see more of the side characters like her and Ashley in PitW more often.

Speaking of Ashley, I thought this page was good! First of all, the setup for this is great, so good job coming up with the idea Ganthan! Also, Ashley's banter is hilariously awesome. Nice work with the actual dialog Kris - got a good laugh out of Ashley calling Danney "pencil-stub" and her teasing in the last panel.

I think the center panel works great here. Ashley's grin matches her dialog perfectly! In addition, Ben did a good job with the mid-undressing scene. Nice work showing her clothes tight around her curves. Also, the angle and pose works well for Ashley showing off.

As a side note, my idea was completely non-canon but it seems like Ganthan's ideas were good for the characters and fit in the story, so I think they could definitely be canonical.

Hope we get to see more scenes like this with Ashley in the future!
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Re: IndieGoGo pages, 10-23-2014

Postby bar1scorpio » Mon Oct 27, 2014 2:46 am

And in unrelated stuff, I've uploaded abunch of stuff to my Hentai-Foundry and Furaffinity. All pencil, but all Halloween related.
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Re: IndieGoGo pages, 10-23-2014

Postby Arkus0 » Mon Oct 27, 2014 3:11 pm

I like how Ashley looks here, very pretty in her human form. Also I'm not sure if Danny is trying to reassure Ashley that he likes her for reasons other than her tits, or if he's just trying to deny that he likes her melons like Ashley is saying he is. Personally I wouldn't complain ^^
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Re: IndieGoGo pages, 10-23-2014

Postby Kris@WLP » Mon Oct 27, 2014 4:57 pm

Arkus0 wrote:I like how Ashley looks here, very pretty in her human form. Also I'm not sure if Danny is trying to reassure Ashley that he likes her for reasons other than her tits, or if he's just trying to deny that he likes her melons like Ashley is saying he is. Personally I wouldn't complain ^^


Danny is a Jewish kid from NYC. Ashley is a rancher's daughter from rural Texas. In both cases arguments are on the self-actualization pyramid just barely above BREATHING.
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Re: IndieGoGo pages, 10-23-2014

Postby Rocket T. Coyote » Wed Oct 29, 2014 11:12 pm

Don't you hate it when prey doesn't cooperate? Lovely wolfess in action though. :wink:
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Re: IndieGoGo pages, 10-23-2014

Postby bar1scorpio » Thu Oct 30, 2014 3:05 am

Welll, Werefox -

And sorry guys, I just don't have the clean side filler ready to go, and it's YoumaCon this weekend-
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Re: IndieGoGo pages, 10-23-2014

Postby ThomasNewton12 » Thu Oct 30, 2014 7:16 am

bar1scorpio wrote:Welll, Werefox -

And sorry guys, I just don't have the clean side filler ready to go, and it's YoumaCon this weekend-


Oh no, not the clean side filler! What will we do without clean filler? You do have the *ahem* other filler, right? :P

Seriously though, have fun at YoumaCon Ben! Hope the convention goes well for you!
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Re: IndieGoGo pages, 10-23-2014

Postby Kris@WLP » Sat Nov 01, 2014 11:03 am

ThomasNewton12 wrote:
bar1scorpio wrote:Welll, Werefox -

And sorry guys, I just don't have the clean side filler ready to go, and it's YoumaCon this weekend-


Oh no, not the clean side filler! What will we do without clean filler? You do have the *ahem* other filler, right? :P


Well, since the clean side filler is by request- Michelle Goodwin, who is sort of Maud Pie to Jean's Pinkie... it'll be worth waiting for.
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Re: IndieGoGo pages, 10-23-2014

Postby Kris@WLP » Sat Nov 01, 2014 11:11 am

And if you're wondering what Kris is doing at OniCon while Ben is at YoumaCon, check the YCBBMLLC thread.
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