To be fully honest, with nothing but respect for your other work, the art detracts from the story. The lines are sketchy, the spacial orientation of some of the panels are from the 6th dimension and in the panel where she is on the phone the free floating speech from the person on the phone made me think more of thought bubbles or inner dialog than someone talking on the phone.
All and all it seems undone like an idea that you had and you wanted to do it but you wanted to get it out as fast as you could so you didn't put much planning into the art. I think you got wrapped up in the story, which is excellent! I love the way the boy put the toy soldiers out in his room to ward off the evil living in his closet. You either have experience with that or stopped to think, "What would a child do in this situation?" but I liked it a lot.
The work, visually, seems rushed. So the question is, do you, as an artist have a passion for doing it? No matter what our opinions of the story whether or not it continues is dependent on how much passion you have for the story. Artist who do things because they "Should" do them rarely make good work.
Resolution to finish a large work of art is a one way road to disappointment.
As F.M Knowles said, "He who breaks a resolution is a weakling. He who makes a resolution is a fool."
I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.
~ Thomas Jefferson ~