No Need for Titties

a sick Tenchi Muyo! fanfic by Kris Overstreet

	note: 120 centimeters is about 48 inches.

"Tenchi, can I see you in my lab a moment?"

	Washuu Hakubi, the universe's greatest scientist (or so she claims), was standing on tiptoe looking over Tenchi's shoulder. As usual, her long red hair was carefully styled to resemble a crab, down to the hair ribbon with two little knots in for eyes. Her youthful body resembled that of a twelve-year-old, on purpose- Washuu preferred to appear as a little girl, instead of the near-immortal 20,000 year old scientist she was.

	"Not right now, Washuu. I'm tired."

	BOING.

	She preferred to look that way -most- of the time.

	"Aw, but Tenchi, I haven't got that sperm sample yet," a lower, huskier voice said. Tenchi blushed as two large, firm breasts barely covered by Washuu's overstretched tunic pressed around his head. He closed his eyes, trying not to think of the very tall, voluptuous woman who had just grown up behind him, her long, shapely legs stretching her pants legs, cute face transformed to exotic... and erotic...beauty...

	"Washuu..."

	Two pairs of eyes witnessed the whole thing. Their owners were, to say the least, not happy. One pair, a violet color almost matching the owner's purple hair, belonged to Aeka, Princess of Jyurai. The other, golden, cat eyes with round pupils, peered out from unruly teal bangs; this pair belonged to the dread space pirate Ryoko. Both were wide with shock, rapidly changing to anger as Washuu looked up from her cuddling.

	"Did you children want something?" Washuu smirked.

	"Children?" Ryoko snarled. "You're one to talk! You go around most of the time looking like jail-bait, except when you want to snare my Tenchi!"

	"YOUR Tenchi?!?" Aeka spun around to face Ryoko, shouting, "Lord Tenchi is NOT your plaything, you monster!"

	"Like you could handle a real man, little princess!" Ryoko grinned. 

	"I'll show you what I can handle!!" Aeka snapped, raising a hand to slap Ryoko's face.

	"Excuse me..."

	The two women froze, glancing over at Tenchi, who now sat alone on the couch. He smiled weakly, pointing towards the hallway, where the soft thunk of a closet door closing echoed a moment later.

	Forgetting their arguement, the two girls raced for the hallway, snatched open the door, and stepped into Washuu's pocket universe.

	Washuu has had thousands of years to accumulate equipment, experiments, factories, occasionally even entire star systems in the pocket of spacetime she referred to as 'my lab.' Despite the vast area involved, and the even more vast amount of junk accumulated inside, Washuu had virtually everything memorized as to content and location, which made it very easy for her to lose two young and angry women far behind her.

	She couldn't resist a loud snicker as she trotted off to replay the recordings her remote sensors had made of the whole incident.

	Things might have taken a different track if the girls hadn't heard the derisive laughter off in the distance, as they slumped against a large cabinet stuck between a Gorderian starfighter and the Washuu-matic Planet-scale Cream Pie Bomb (patent pending).

	If Aeka hadn't heard the laughter, she might not have dropped to the floor in defeat, her kimono skirts spread out most unladylike as she dropped her chin into her hands.

	If Ryoko hadn't heard the laughter, she might not have punched the cabinet in frustration, leaving a large hole in the metal.

	If these things hadn't happened, the very large jar of multi-colored pills either would not have fallen from the top of the cabinet, or else would have fallen onto the floor, shattered into a million pieces, and been erased from existence milliseconds later by Washuu's extremely efficient cleaning robots.

	WHAM.

	*rattle*

	*fwoof*

	Aeka lifted the jar in both hands. It was about two liters in volume, full to the twist-off lid with pills of all sorts of color. Ryoko looked over the princess' shoulder as Aeka turned the label up to read:

	WASHUU'S HAPPY BUST INCREASER
	1 PILL = 1 CENTIMETER	
	NO SIDE EFFECTS

	Aeka and Ryoko stared at the jar.

	They looked at each other.

	In each head, the same thought came to mind:

	If that big-breasted hussy Washuu thinks she can get Tenchi with her cleavage, she's got another think coming.

	Two hands reached for the lid of the jar, struggled with each other, finally managed to get the lid unscrewed. Two hands reached into the wide neck, grabbing at pills.

	"Twelve should be quite adequate," Aeka said as she counted out the pills in her hand. "Ninety centimeters should be quite enough to beat Washuu."

	"Ninety?" Ryoko grumbled, also counting pills. "I'm going for a hundred... sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen..."

	"A hundred?" Aeka smiled. "Hasn't anyone told you that more than a handful is a waste?"

	"Oh, so are you afraid I'll overshadow you... LITTLE princess?"

	Aeka blushed at the crack. "Fine! Then I'm going to have one hundred TEN! We'll see who's little!"

	Ryoko snarled. "Oh yeah? How about one-twenty? Is that big enough for you, Your Highness?"

	"FINE BY ME!"

	"FINE!"

	"FINE!"

	"FINE!"

	"........."

	"... I need another handful..."

	"Just a moment..."

	The final tally came up to thirty-nine pills for Ryoko, forty-two for Aeka. Each pill was flat, smaller than a fingernail; the level in the jar had barely gone down at all in the process. Still, this left both girls with a double handful of pills in their laps, as they worked up the courage to actually follow through with it. 

	Finally, Ryoko took one pill, bit into it. Her eyes widened; the pills tasted like sour candies, making one suck involuntarily... also making one want more. "Not bad," she mumbled, grabbing a few pills in her hand and munching them loudly. "Prtty guud," she added as she chewed.

	"Don't be crude," Aeka huffed, daintily taking one pill at a time (daintily, but very very quickly). 

	Within moments, the pills were taken, the jar closed again, and the two girls waited.

	"Do you feel anything?" Ryoko asked, looking down at her pull-over robe, watching for signs of movement.

	"No," Aeka said, looking down. Her formal kimono remained just as loose across her chest as ever.

	They sat and waited, several more minutes, as things totally failed to happen to their breasts. As the minutes passed, both women felt more and more embarrassed, Aeka blushing to think how eager she'd been to try out one of Washuu's mad inventions, Ryoko steaming angry for much the same reason.

	Just as Ryoko was about to suggest a second dose, the laughter echoed again across the vastness of the lab. "Washuuu...." she growled. "It's a joke. A cruel, vindictive joke. That bitch."

	(Actually, Washuu was laughing at Tenchi's expression on the recording of her cuddle. She had no idea of what was going on elsewhere.)

	Aeka sighed, a brief image of herself in a tight leather bustier showing off mega-quantities of cleavage shattering in her mind. "I suppose you're right." She looked at the jar again, muttering, "We must be a couple of real idiots to fall for a false label on a jar of candy."

	"Yeah," Ryoko nodded. 

	"If you tell anybody about this, I'll be forced to kill you," Aeka added.

	"Sure, sure," Ryoko muttered, picking up the jar and floating off.

	Aeka watched Ryoko begin to fade out. "Wait a minute," she said, "what are you doing with those?"

	"Why waste good candy on Washuu-chan?" Ryoko said, and with that she vanished, already on her way back to the lab door.

	Aeka shrugged and followed on foot, giving the cabinet a soft slam with her fist. Behind her, a piece of paper fluttered down from the cabinet top, landing face up on the floor. Had anyone been there to read it, they would have seen:

	TIME DELAYED ACTION
	DO NOT TAKE MORE THAN ONE PILL PER HOUR

	Ryoko plunked herself down beside Mihoshi, resident Galaxy Police officer, and looked at the television. Mihoshi had managed to tune in her favorite Gloopian comedy show, and she was giggling uncontrollably, her tank top jiggling in time with her blonde ponytail as she laughed. 

	Ryoko gave Mihoshi's tanned cleavage a murderous look before opening up the jar. She was about to pop a couple more pills in her mouth when she heard Tenchi's voice. "Ryoko! Did you do the dishes?"

	Crap. "Just a moment, Tenchi," she said as sweetly as she could, setting down the jar and walking into the kitchen bemoaning the unfairness of life. Mihoshi, paying no attention, reached over, grabbed a handful of pills and began chewing. "Yummy!" she chirped, then laughed again as one Gloopian bapped another with a rolling pin.

	Aeka was in her room, looking at herself in the mirror. She had taken off the outer two layers of her formal robes, and the reflection showed her in what passed for Juraian undergarments. The white cloth covered her more than a one-piece swimsuit, wrapping around the front and fastening in six places along her right side, with three additional fasteners tucked underneath on the left side. The rise between collarbone and abdomen which might be called breasts was, to say the least, modest.

	Aeka sighed, wondering how the First Princess of Jurai could have been passed over when they handed out breasts. Royalty deserved to be majestic in every detail, and althought Aeka really didn't care for giant breasts, she thought she deserved at least a respectable cleavage to show off in her matrimonial leathers.

	With a sigh, Aeka turned away from the mirror, reached down to pick up her robes, and

	IT HIT.

	A burning warmth lit in her chest, causing Aeka to gasp as she swiveled back around to look at herself. No, she wasn't glowing, but the burning got stronger and stronger with every moment. She felt her nipples stiffen as the warmth spread further down, deeper in, but always focused on her chest. Her sex moistened with excitement as she worked the catches of her undergarment with one hand and squeezed one breast through the fabric with the other.

	As the last hook was undone, the fabric billowed outward, Aeka's breasts taking up the slack. She switched hands, barely noticing the added weight building on her chest as she ripped away the inside hooks, pulling the garment open and stepping out of it. She threw herself onto her futon, rubbing her bare chest against the mattress as she reached underneath to draw out the vibrator she called 'Tenchi-ken.'

	The vibrator snapped on with a flick of the thumb, sank into Aeka's hole with a quiet slurp. Aeka whimpered very quietly as she began plunging the rod in and out of herself, pressing her chest harder against her sheets. The heat ran through her body now, making her hornier and hornier, and as she imagined Tenchi making hard, deep thrusts into her womb she rocked her ass back and forth against the dildo.

	She rolled over to get both hands on the dildo, to push all ten inches into her quim. As she reached down, she noticed for the first time her rapidly expanding chest. Already they were larger than Washuu's, and with every whimper, every twist of her body, every wave of warmth they grew larger and larger.

	"Tenchi...." Aeka whimpered, shoving the humming dildo deeper and deeper into herself, gasping for breath. "Tenchi! TENCHIII!!!" As she climaxed, her breasts gave one more massive surge of growth, billowing up to at least the 120-centimeter estimate she an Ryoko had gone for in the lab. Her two breasts were each bigger than cantelopes, the nipples stiff and thick atop them. As she came down from her orgasm, she noticed her growth, smiled, and giggled. 

	"Now I'll show that Ryoko who's small!" she said as she cleaned herself off.

	Ryoko wasn't in a condition to be shown anything.

	At almost the same time the heat exploded in Aeka, it struck Ryoko full force. She dropped the dish she'd been drying, letting it crash to the kitchen floor, and doubled over in shock. She felt her arousal building fast along with the heat, and with a moan she phased through the ceiling, flying directly towards where Tenchi was at work in the fields.

	Sasami (Aeka's younger sister) and Ryo-Ohki (a baby cat-bunny thing which would grow up into a heavily armed starship- don't ask) were off at Tenchi's cousin's house, which was all to the good. This left Tenchi alone to pick the day's carrot crop for Ryo-Ohki's meals, which was also all to the good as far as Ryoko was concerned, for suddenly she needed him more than she had ever needed anything before.

	"Ten-chiiiiii..."

	Tenchi looked up from hoeing the rows of carrots to see Ryoko floating down from the air. She squirmed and moaned as she descended, stroking her chest in one hand and pressing her skirts against her crotch with the other. "Ryoko, what's wrong?" Tenchi asked.

	"Tenchi... I'm soooo horny... please..." Ryoko gasped loudly, both hands now on her breasts as she and Tenchi heard a loud creaking sound. Between her hands, a small tear came open in her tunic; the tear expanded rapidly, revealing cleavage much deeper than Tenchi remembered Ryoko ever having.

	"Tenchi, please..." Ryoko grasped Tenchi's wrist, bringing his hand to her lips. She squirmed about on her feet, rubbing her thighs together as she sucked on Tenchi's finger. With a gasp she pulled it down to her exposed breast flesh, and as the wet digit touched skin she threw her head back and screamed with delight, her breasts ripping through the remainder of her clothes, bouncing out into the open.

	Tenchi remained frozen, eyes wide, jaw slack. He didn't dare move his arm one direction or the other, which only left him to stare as Ryoko shuddered through a long, wet orgasm, drops of moisture falling onto the freshly turned earth below her crotch. On her chest, twin pink basketballs jiggled back and forth, stiff nipples barely darker than the skin around them. 

	Finally, Ryoko released his arm, allowing him to yank it back to his side. As her eyes focused, she noticed the extra weight in front, and as she looked down her smile grew wide. "Oh, YES! YES!!" She hefted her jugs happily, rubbing one against her cheek. "Oh, babies, hhmm, oh yes YES!!"

	"Ryoko, what's happening?" Tenchi had no idea what was going on, and could only watch as Ryoko reveled in the size of her melons. 

	"Oh, Tenchi, aren't they beautiful?" Ryoko sighed, looking up at him. "And they're all yours, sweet sweet Tenchi..." With a shimmer Ryoko's torn clothes vanished, leaving her naked before him. Her thighs dripped with her honey, glistening in the afternoon sun. "Please, Tenchi, take them... take me...."

	"YOU HUSSY!!!"

	Aeka, half-stuffed into a set of robes which revealed acres of cleavage before closing (barely) around the front, was running and bouncing into the field. "How DARE you present yourself so brazenly to Lord Tenchi?"

	Tenchi gaped at Aeka, then at Ryoko. Was this thing contagious, whatever it is?

	"And what do you call this, Princess?" Ryoko shouted, poking Aeka's bare bosom.

	Aeka blushed, the red going all the way down from her face to her breasts. "Nothing else would fit..."

	"Suuuuure," Ryoko said, stepping closer to the princess. "So you just happen to come out wearing something that shows off your new assets?"

	"MY assets aren't hanging out for everyone to see!" Aeka stepped forward herself, nose to nose with Ryoko.

	"Well, NOW they are!" Ryoko snarled, yanking Aeka's kimono open, baring the heavy breasts, stepping forward, squeezing her own breasts against them. "NOW who's showing everything?"

	Lightning flashed between the two as they stared each other down, now utterly oblivious to Tenchi's staring. Finally, the two looked down to compare busts. Each were exactly the same size.

	Ryoko looked at Aeka.

	Aeka looked at Ryoko.

	Ryoko lifted up off the ground, turning for the house.

	Aeka grabbed Ryoko's ankle, and with a shout she slammed the pirate to the earth, stunning her for a brief moment. By the time Ryoko peeled her naked body off the garden, Aeka was already halfway back to the house, bouncing like mad.

	"Oh, no you don't," Ryoko grumbled, vanishing as she spoke.


	In the lab, Washuu smiled as she watched the two girls rush for the house. "So you found that old project, did you girls?" She giggled as she called a holographic computer terminal into existence and began typing. "Well, more than two can play that game!"

	Mihoshi looked up from the TV as the door slid open with a slam. Aeka, naked to the waist, full breasts heaving, scrambled into the room, rushing right at her. 

	An instant later, Ryoko floated down from the ceiling, grabbing the jar of candies away from Mihoshi. "Ha! Got here first!"

	"Um, Ryoko, if you wanted some candy, you should have asked," Mihoshi said. After a moment, she added, "Why are you naked?"

	"Keep out of this, you-" Ryoko snapped her mouth shut as her brain caught up with the rest of her. Her eyes widened as she looked at the jar; the level of pills had gone down at least four centimeters... which meant that Mihoshi had eaten over a -hundred- of the things.

	Tenchi stepped into the room, shouting, "Now wait a minute! I want to know just what's going on!"

	Mihoshi gasped, shuddering head to toe. "Oh my! I feel so hot all of a sudden!"

	Aeka paled as Ryoko drawled, "You're about to find out..."

	Mihoshi's hands flew to her shorts, yanking them down as she cried out lustily. "OHHHHH!!! Oh, I'm so hot, so hot THERE! I'm so embarrassed, I can't stop myself!" the other three watched as Mihoshi began frigging herself off wildly, whimpering and groaning as the fire inside her grew... and her breasts began to grow with it.

	Mihoshi was a busty girl to begin with, and favored loose tank tops and T-shirts when not on duty. Her tank top was growing tight fast, though, as two thick nipples poked up through the thin fabric. Her cleavage grew deeper and longer, her shirt stretching wide, and every jiggle sent new coos of delight from the blonde.

	Ryoko looked at Tenchi, who remained frozen in the doorway watching Mihoshi masturbate. Her eyes narrowed as she thought for a moment. "Hey, Princess! Catch!" She poured a handful of the pills down to Aeka, who barely managed to catch them. "Double-team him! I'm not letting that ditz get Tenchi!" With that she grabbed a handful of her own and shoved them into her mouth, swallowing them whole. 

	Aeka nodded, gulping down her own pills, gasping for breath afterwards. She stripped away the rest of her clothes, gasping as the heat struck her much faster than before. She managed to step over to Tenchi, pulling at his pants as a flushed Ryoko pulled away his shirt.

	Loud ripping sounds, followed by louder cries of pleasure, came from behind them as Mihoshi's shirt ruptured. Aeka and Ryoko paid no attention; they focused on Tenchi, Ryoko filling Tenchi's face with swelling breasts as Aeka freed his growing erection.

	And the growing, and moaning, continued...

	Half an hour later, the room finally went silent. Aeka and Ryoko, both of whom had had a turn with Tenchi's member, now sported breasts half again larger than volleyballs. Mihoshi's breasts, on the other hand, covered her from neck to waist, overlapping on both sides. 

	Mihoshi's mind, what little she ever had, had flown off to Never-never Land after her shirt ripped apart. The other three were unable to move due to exhaustion and pleasure, having had a continuous three-way until Mihoshi's screams of orgasm had finally ended.

	A single pair of hands clapped loudly in the silence. "Not bad, girls, not bad at all," Washuu said. "You seem to have had some fun with those old pills of mine."

	Everyone looked up to see Washuu, still in her adult form, holding a single pill in her hand. This one was glowing brightly, though, and before Washuu put it in her mouth she said, "But nobody beats the Greatest Scientist in the Universe!"


	Tenchi's father spent six days a week in Tokyo, working at his small architecture firm, and only came home for two nights a week. It had been a rough week, and Nobiyuki was looking forward to a relaxing period of quiet, peace and the occasional naughty picture of Tenchi's girlfriends in the baths.
	He turned the van off the main road onto the driveway to the house. The narrow roadway wound through a grove of trees; as it came out into the open, he slammed on the brakes and stared.	
	Where his house had been last week, there now rested a roof supported by two gargantuan breasts.
	Nobiyuki turned the van around and drove back to the highway. Obviously the week had been more stressful than he'd thought. He needed to spend some time in a spa somewhere... or maybe a soapland... no, he thought to himself, recalling the hallucination, -definitely- not a soapland.
	Behind him, faint voices could be heard from the rubble:
	"What do you MEAN permanent?"
	"Well, -my- pill can be counteracted..."
	"Well? What's the cure?"
	"Oh, I'll have to work on a cure for you three. But first I need Tenchi's sperm to bring my swelling down!"
	"... oh no..."
	"Hahahahaha! I TOLD you I was going to get that semen sample!"
	"Not if we get it first!"
	"Hey! It's my turn!"
	"Not fast enough, Princess!"
	"Ara... can I have some too?"
	"... I hate my life..."

	END