This week the world lost one of its great musical storytellers, the legendary Man in Black, Johnny Cash. Cash is known for a multitude of songs, from 'Folsom Prison Blues' to 'Ring of Fire.' In his lifetime he was honored with eleven Grammy Awards, places of honor in both the Country and Rock and Roll Halls of Fame, and adored by millions of rabid fans.
I wasn't among those fans, but I do recall one album my mother once owned with fondness, and when I heard of Johnny Cash's death I decided, in memoriam, to obtain my own copy of the album on CD. After all, even if my mother's album was cut in the 1960s on LP vinyl, surely a star as large as Johnny Cash would have had everything, but everything, re-released on CD at some point, right?
Well, an afternoon's worth of searching has led to one revealation: if my mother still has that record, she is possibly in the possession of the most valuable piece of Cash memorabilia ever released as a long-playing record.
The album in question is, "Everybody Loves a Nut," Columbia Records, 1966, and in my personal opinion every one of the songs listed below is a gem:
Unfortunately, the album suffered from the fact that most of the songs on it were, as the term is in the industry, 'novelty.' That's what they call songs which are either humorous or serious in a way that marketers and advertising executives aren't exactly geared to accept. For some peculiar reason, "Achy Breaky Heart" is considered a serious, marketable song, but "The Bug That Tried to Crawl Around the World," a poem about ambition and determination in the face of adversity, is too frivolous to sell.
Incredibly, not even maninblack.net , one of the very few web sites which acknowledges the album exists, not even there can you find lyrics to most of the songs and poems on the album. (Granted, Shel Silverstein's 'Boa Constrictor' can be found elsewhere, and possibly a determined search might turn up others, but not in connection to the album.) Only two songs are listed on the above-mentioned website, and rather than inflict a short, silly poem to a worthless hound dog on you, I present (printed here without permission) the lyrics to 'The One on the Right Was On the Left,' written (so far as I know) by the Man in Black himself:
There once was a musical troupe A pickin' singin' folk group They sang the mountain ballads And the folk songs of our land They were long on musical ability Folks thought they would go far But political incompatibility led to their downfallWell, the one on the right was on the left And the one in the middle was on the right And the one on the left was in the middle And the guy in the rear was a Methodist
This musical aggregation toured the entire nation Singing the traditional ballads And the folk songs of our land They performed with great virtuosity And soon they were the rage But political animosity prevailed upon the stage
Well, the one on the right was on the left And the one in the middle was on the right And the one on the left was in the middle And the guy in the rear burned his driver's license
Well the curtain had ascended A hush fell on the crowd As thousands there were gathered to hear The folk songs of our land But they took their politics seriously And that night at the concert hall As the audience watched deliriously They had a free-for-all
Well, the one on the right was on the bottom And the one in the middle was on the top And the one on the left got a broken arm And the guy in the rear, said, "Oh dear"
Now this should be a lesson if you plan to start a folk group Don't go mixin' politics with the folk songs of our land Just work on harmony and diction Play your banjo well And if you have political convictions keep them to yourself
Now, the one on the left works in a bank And the one in the middle drives a truck The one on the right's an all-night deejay And the guy in the rear got drafted
Now music like this deserves to be preserved for the ages.
I don't know if there were legal issues involved, or if Johnny himself wasn't proud of the album and wanted to forget it existed, or if it just didn't sell very well at all. But for the sake of completeness, if for no other reason, I think this album should be re-released. I think that Johnny Cash should be remembered for more humor and wisdom aside from "A Boy Named Sue."
I'm sending a copy of this opinion letter to Rhino Records and the Dr. Demento Show, the only venues I know of where such a project would have a hope of succeeding. If anybody knows who owns Columbia Records at this point, give them a yell too, since more than likely they own the copyright to the record itself. Join with me, and let's give Johnny Cash a memorial befitting to the man whose songs shared not only joy, but laughter and wisdom.
Let's rerelease 'Everybody Loves a Nut.'
And when it comes out, y'all buy a copy, hear?
This page last updated September 12, 2003.